Kewl Graffities

Official Project Stages:
---------------------------------
Uncritical Acceptance
Wild Enthusiasm
Dejected Disillusionment
Total Confusion
Search for the Guilty
Punishment of the Innocent
Promotion of the Non-participants


FOOT: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
HEALTH: The slowest possible rate of dying.
PHILOSOPHY: A study that lets us be unhappy more intelligently.
POVERTY: Having too much month left at the end of the money.
SLEEP: That fleeting moment just before the alarm goes off.


And out of the chaos, a voice spoke:
"Smile and be happy, for it can always be worse".
And I smiled, and I was happy, and it did get worse...


I don't have a drinking problem.
I drink
I get drunk
I fall down
No problem


The game of life has three rules:
You can't win.
You can't break even.
You can't get out of the game.


Monday is a hard way to spend one-seventh of your life.
Females do pursue me, if you count mosquitoes.
If necessity is the mother of invention. Then laziness must be the father.
Everyone has the right to be ugly, but some people abuse the privilege.
The light at the end of the tunnel is the headlamp of an oncoming train.
A thousand million flies can't be wrong - eat shit.
Dead people are cool.
Remember, it takes 42 muscles to frown and only 4 to pull the trigger of a decent sniper rifle.
Today is the last day of your life so far.
I'm a mistake - legalize abortion!
Cancer cures smoking."
Why does free love cost so much?"
I either want less corruption, or more chance to participate in it.
When your outgo exceeds your income, then your upkeep is your downfall.
If a turtle loses his shell is he naked or homeless????
I love defenseless animals, especially in a good gravy.
Evil spelled backward is live.
Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.
If you hear a gunshot, you have not been hit. Bullets travel faster than sound.
Hard work has a future payoff. Laziness pays off now.
Always borrow money from pessimists, they never will expect it back.
If the pen is mightier than the sword, and a picture is worth a thousand words, how dangerous is a fax???
Due to management cuts, the light at the end of the tunnel will now be switched off.
Wife and dog missing. Reward for the dog.
I'm not afraid to die. I just don't want to be there when it happens.
If I wanted to listen to an asshole, I would have farted.
Guys are like parking lots, all the good ones are taken, and the rest are handicapped.